P4CM Poetry: Soul Ties

I am still tied..but it's being broken. I ended the relationship, the guy ended the relationship. It hurts. This poem resonates with me so much. It just demonstrates the dynamic of the thoughts of two people in a relationship that is destructive quite frankly. Please watch. I want to love Christ more than I could possibly love another human being. More than I could love my husband. Just more.

Prom Pics

There are so many pictures and so many more people that I love..but then I'd be putting up wayy too many pictures and I simply just can't fade. lol Sorry.

lol..I was Prom Queen. It was lovely.

"The fear of the Lord is the beginning of knowledge; fools despise wisdom and instruction." --Proverbs 1:7

This verse reminds me of the time we live in now. I fear the Lord. I see his power and I have read of His wrath and I truly don't want to inflict his wrath upon myself. Simultaneously, as the Lord is a jealous God and wants us to love and worship Him above all else, He is also loving. His love and patience is immeasurable and insurmountable. His saving grace, a gift we did nothing to receive, was given to us freely by His son Jesus Christ. 


The line "fools despise wisdom and instruction" emphasizes how people nowadays try to live for themselves-- for their own self gratification and sinful pleasures even when they KNOW how God sees sexual immorality, orgies, wrath, and the like (Romans 1:24- 32). 


Proverbs 1:7 rings so true. I'll be telling my friends about how I no longer listen to Kanye, Kid Cudi and Lady Gaga anymore and I'll explain to them why, but they don't see what I'm trying to tell them..they don't want to either. I don't think that they want to give up their lifestyles. I can understand that. That was me a few of months ago. I did not want to give up partying every weekend. I didn't want to give up my relationship with my significant other. He wasn't my boyfriend, but we were a couple without the title. I didn't want to give up cursing or give up the things that I liked to do. I didn't want to be boring. But I wasn't truly happy in the state I was living in. I wasn't at peace with myself. I was restless, and had mood swings where I would be depressed for weeks on end, but I would hide it from my friends. I went to a BCF fellowship at UMCP and I accepted Christ and He has changed me. I could never have felt this calm on my own. I could never have felt a joy about life by any other means except for through Christ.  I was a fool to wait as long as I have to come to Christ. I had a childish mentality. I have given up cursing, I have no mouth for it..no taste for it. Whenever I hear curse words, my heart does a pang. I do not party anymore. Lol, it's a bit hard to believe because I was always the person to text someone and ask them, "aye, so what's the move tonight?" I have given up the relationship that I had with that young man...that was probably the hardest part of it all. It actually happened recently. It still hurts, I wont lie. But it's for the best, for God's will. I'm not trying to fight God's will anymore. I cannot continue to self-rule my life. I am not capable of making the right decisions, and me having faith in myself and my own "power" is just absurd.  I'm still struggling, but my God, it's so much easier now. Even as I write this, I feel a sense of calm and quiet happiness. 


:D with love, Khadija Lani

To Do List..

I leave on June 25th for school, so this is a list of things I want to do before I leave:

1. Go bowling
2. Play Ding-Dong Ditch
3. Hang out with Jamal
4. Go to Gallery Place
5. Go to California Pizza Kitchen
6. Go to Georgetown
7. Go to the movies
8. Go to as many cookouts as possible
9. Go thrifting
10. Sleep over Mikey's house
11. Sleep over Kriti's house
12. Sleep over Steph's house
13. Go to Buffalo Wild Wings
14. Go to Sakura one last time and get that pina colada.
15. Go to Pasta Nostra
16. Get Cold Stones randomly
17. Get Chipotle randomly
18. Hang out with BSMJKJK
19. Hang out with Golda
20. Hang out with Ari.

My Prom is Today ^_^ Pictures Coming Soon.

We Are Forgiven

We fall to the same flesh that the Lord Jesus Christ had ripped off of His body. That was the flesh He died for. He took that painful penalty. That's Love. If you accept that amazing love, you know what it is like to truly love others. Love is an emotion that truly only comes from accepting Christ because He created it...His act, His death, is the only true act of love. Once you understand that, loving others through Him is beautiful and a blessing.


Thank you Jesus.

I Want to be a Living Sacrifice

Romans 12:1-2: "Therefore, I urge you, brothers, in view of God's mercy, to offer your bodies as living sacrifices, holy and pleasing to God--this is your spiritual act of worship. Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is--his good, pleasing and perfect will."

The Only Way

Jesus is literally the only way to salvation. You must follow Him

i love scones. (courtesy of Google Images)

NOM NOM NOM

Swag Swag

I want to rock these braids. (courtesy Google Images)

I'm Struggling

I'm drowning in it--

in a thick syrup of repeated mistakes and broken promises.

I'm suffocating and chocking on my professions of love when I'm not even sure that it's the right love.

I'm killing myself. Surely I am killing myself.

Breathing becomes laborious and a hassle. 

I cannot continue this way. 

Why am I kidding myself into thinking that this love is okay?

I see it for what it is--

a hindrance.

 I used to see us groping and gasping as if it were innocent and harmless.

In the back of the forefront of my mind I knew I was wrong.

I was lying to myself.

And even now as I breathe,

with every gasp,

and attempted grasp to hold onto reality

I realize that I'm struggling,

and that I can't do it on my own.

Khadija Lani

The name Khadija was given to me when I was born. It was my father's mother's name and Islamic prophet Mohammed's wife. The name 'Lani,' comes from Lani Guinier, an American lawyer and civil rights activist. My father respected this activist and Harvard professor to the point where he wanted to name me after her as well.


Hence the name, Khadija Lani

I like food. Dinner with my mommy (=

The artwork of friends. Follow them at @devmoore and @runpelurun