"The fear of the Lord is the beginning of knowledge; fools despise wisdom and instruction." --Proverbs 1:7

This verse reminds me of the time we live in now. I fear the Lord. I see his power and I have read of His wrath and I truly don't want to inflict his wrath upon myself. Simultaneously, as the Lord is a jealous God and wants us to love and worship Him above all else, He is also loving. His love and patience is immeasurable and insurmountable. His saving grace, a gift we did nothing to receive, was given to us freely by His son Jesus Christ. 


The line "fools despise wisdom and instruction" emphasizes how people nowadays try to live for themselves-- for their own self gratification and sinful pleasures even when they KNOW how God sees sexual immorality, orgies, wrath, and the like (Romans 1:24- 32). 


Proverbs 1:7 rings so true. I'll be telling my friends about how I no longer listen to Kanye, Kid Cudi and Lady Gaga anymore and I'll explain to them why, but they don't see what I'm trying to tell them..they don't want to either. I don't think that they want to give up their lifestyles. I can understand that. That was me a few of months ago. I did not want to give up partying every weekend. I didn't want to give up my relationship with my significant other. He wasn't my boyfriend, but we were a couple without the title. I didn't want to give up cursing or give up the things that I liked to do. I didn't want to be boring. But I wasn't truly happy in the state I was living in. I wasn't at peace with myself. I was restless, and had mood swings where I would be depressed for weeks on end, but I would hide it from my friends. I went to a BCF fellowship at UMCP and I accepted Christ and He has changed me. I could never have felt this calm on my own. I could never have felt a joy about life by any other means except for through Christ.  I was a fool to wait as long as I have to come to Christ. I had a childish mentality. I have given up cursing, I have no mouth for it..no taste for it. Whenever I hear curse words, my heart does a pang. I do not party anymore. Lol, it's a bit hard to believe because I was always the person to text someone and ask them, "aye, so what's the move tonight?" I have given up the relationship that I had with that young man...that was probably the hardest part of it all. It actually happened recently. It still hurts, I wont lie. But it's for the best, for God's will. I'm not trying to fight God's will anymore. I cannot continue to self-rule my life. I am not capable of making the right decisions, and me having faith in myself and my own "power" is just absurd.  I'm still struggling, but my God, it's so much easier now. Even as I write this, I feel a sense of calm and quiet happiness. 


:D with love, Khadija Lani