Oh, Am I Crazy?

So I know I am not crazy. But danggg! I make some bad decisions that make it look like I am smh. I was trying to show this guy I still cared, but in the end I messed up our relationship completely by looking like an obsessed crazy girl, fawning like  a dog for some attention. That is so not me when it comes to boys, but that is what it looks like. If I could have taken it back, I would. But clearly it was in God's plan that I do that. So something good will come out of it.

Honestly, I've been trying to be friends with this guy for a while, and not lovers. But I haven't been sincere about it. I wanted to keep him. But in the process of keeping him, I not only grew more emotionally attached, but I was also aiding and abetting in the downfall of a brother. So, I think it's safe to say that me and him are through. He only calls me or texts me when he's high and I hate that because it only reminds me that he wouldn't do it if he were sober. I guess what hurts is that I feel as if I lost an arm, and that he probably feels unaffected. Not only that, but now I am the crazy girl! smh. I need to give this up to God because trying to handle this situation has only made me miserable and nauseous.